International
Choner Foundation

Every choner deserves a second chance.

Most will use it exactly the same way as the first. We're here for them anyway, mainly because nobody told us we could stop.

Find out if you're one
chonernoun
  1. A person who sees a door marked PULL and responds by pushing harder.
  2. Anyone who has said "you too" to a waiter. See also: you, last Tuesday.

Our impact

Decades of work. Results pending.

The Foundation exists to support, understand and gently supervise the world's choners. These are the numbers we have managed not to lose.

3,412,908doors pushed worldwide, still rising as you read this
0lessons learned
100%of donations misplaced
1annual report, last seen in a Honda Civic

Our programs

Help is available. Whether it helps is another matter.

Pull Sign Literacy

A twelve-week course. Graduates can identify a door. Our last class is still in the building because the exit says PULL.

Reply-All Rehabilitation

Group sessions for those who wrote "please remove me from this list" to 4,000 colleagues. Sponsors are on call. Do not copy them in.

Wave Recovery

Immediate counselling for anyone who waved back at someone waving at the person behind them. Walk-ins welcome. Please look straight ahead.

Glass Door Outreach

Volunteers stand by glass doors with small stickers and a look of quiet disappointment. Funded entirely by forehead smudges.

Free and confidential

The Official Choner Screening

Early detection saves nothing, but you'll know. Answer honestly. Your results stay on this page and vanish when you leave, like your confidence.

Have you pushed a PULL door, then pushed it harder?
Has a waiter said "enjoy your meal" and you said "you too"?
Have you waved back at a wave that was not for you?
Have you walked into a glass door, then glared at the door?
Have you ever hit Reply All to complain about Reply All?
Are you currently taking a test on a website called choner.org?

Leadership

Our Board of Directors

  • GaryActing Chair. Nobody appointed him. He brought a clipboard.
  • The Other GaryTreasurer. Has been asked about the money. Has left the room.
  • A Tall Man Named DennisHead of Outreach. Reaches top shelves. Hired on a misunderstanding.